he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
