So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
