he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
