Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
