He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
