she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
