sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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