She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
