using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
