hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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