Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
