I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
