Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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