I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you win again, gameday.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
