i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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