Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
