Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
