3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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