elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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