2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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