im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
