babies were throwing up all over the place
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
