I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
