Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
