and i looked up. we had an audience...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
