I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
