I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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