Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
