Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
