So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
