Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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