I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
