never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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