So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
