never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
birth control should be required to get into college
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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