My brain says no but my pants say off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
