just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
