I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
