there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
