I think i peed on brittanys purse
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
