After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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