Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
