Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
