1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
