You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
