Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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