Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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