I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
