I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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