it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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