There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
