I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
